Alsjeblieft!
(Here you are!) Dankjewel.
(Thank you.) Oh, no, no… I can’t do it. Ever heard about ‘Hollandse Nieuwe’? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my… It looks like a raw fish! That’s because it is. Oh, is it? Seriously, I can’t. So, do you know what it is? Uh… It looks like something you dragged out of the ocean. What is this? Fish? I think it’s… fish! It’s raw. In the aspect… And it looks like a fish… …and smells like a fish. Do you know what kind of fish? Herring… Herring? Haring? Herring… haring. This is herring. This is pickled herring… haring. Okay… That’s what a herring looks like. It’s really good in the morning. Especially if you have a hangover. Have you eaten it before? No. I tried. Yeah? And then? What happened? And then I almost threw up. I don’t know how I feel about this, Bart. Yeah, this is disgusting. How do you think that people eat this? Well, you haven’t given us a fork, so… So you need to put it all in your mouth? Is that what you mean? I guess so. Very suspicious. Do you have onions or something on it as well? Maar waar is de ui?
(But where are the onions?) Je wil ui?
(You want onions?) Ja natuurlijk!
(Yes of course!) OK! Get right in there. I’m going to fill it with the onion. Make the taste a little bit better. Oh, that is… uh… slimy. Yeah. Just a little bit. We must eat with hands? Oh, Jesus. No, that’s not possible. And if I pay you? I… It doesn’t matter. The marriage is over. Yeah, I know you have some etiquette. Yeah. This is Dutch etiquette: you can eat it with your hands. Okay. So… as we say in Dutch: Eet smakelijk!
(Enjoy your meal!) Ja, dankjewel.
(Yeah, thank you.) There you go. Ready? No. 3-2-1… Do you know that the Dutch actually do not eat it like this? What!? Thank you. We have a way to eat it without making our hands dirty. Oh… How could you take it… in order not to make your hands dirty? Knife and fork. Are you supposed to grab it from like the end and kind of hang it from your…. kind of just…? What… Is it for real? I’m gonna find out. Should I just take a bite of it? You eat it whole. Oh… what we eat? Like this? The Dutch eat it all at once. No way. Really? How much are you paying? No! You grab it by the tail. Yeah, but it’s slippery. Okay, that works… Okay… and then…. You know, that actually Dutch people… they really let it… like in one way… tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh… and then it’s gone. Aah… Then maybe their throat is bigger than mine. I’m waiting to make sure that you don’t die. Tasty? Oh, god… I can’t do this. How does it taste? Very salty… It was good. Mmm… tastes of the ocean. Can I finish this? Mmm… Do you like it? It tastes good. Okay, fair enough. Usually, there’s some onions with it, right? Some ‘ui’… Do you want onions? I have… No, I’m good. You want to try? No, no, I don’t want… It’s typical Dutch, part of the culture! No, no, no. No… Sorry, Bart. Tasty? No. No, that’s it. Russian is better. We have to finish it, right? No, we don’t. It’s got that like fishy film on it… I didn’t grow up by the ocean. Do you like fish? Do you like seafood? Not really. Yeah the consistency’s a little like gelatinous, a little squishy, but I’m actually okay with that… It’s very good. Will you finish it? Can I not? I’d rather not. You can do it, Joe. I don’t think I can. Would you buy this in the future, you think? Maybe yeah… if I saw it… on the street… I will buy… I like it. NO! No, really. I think it’s better to eat with beer… and in small pieces. You don’t have to do it. I do like it. You like it? I’m going to eat it. I do like fish.